Burnt Feet

Dear diary,

This weekend I played Spikeball in the park, and I didn't wear shoes.  Feeling my toes in the dirt reminded me of when my father-in-law used to bury my feet in the backyard, and tell me to "grow tall, like a tree so we can get that NBA money."  He'd pour a little Corona on my ankles to water me. 

Anyway, I got sunburnt on my feet at the park and now my feet are extra hot, making them extra sweaty. I've gone through 3 pairs of socks already today. When I walk you can hear a squish noise with every step. It's embarrassing. I've been coughing really loudly while I walk to people don't hear the squish-squash of my feet, but I was coughing so much that my boss sent me home and told me to "take care of whatever the fuck is going on here."

So now I've got my feet covered in Aloe Vera. Hopefully it'll work and my burnt skin will peel off like a snake's and I can get my life back together.