Fluoride

Dear diary,

Sorry I haven't written in you recently. Don't worry, its not because things have been going well.

I've been afraid of taking a shower because I heard that the water in New York Cityhas fluoride in it. I'm afraid that taking a shower will be like when I used to go to the dentist to get a fluoride treatment on my teeth, but for my whole body. I used to always choose the bubblegum flavored fluoride. I could never remember if it was the least-unpleasant flavor, or the most unpleasant flavor, so I would roll the dice each time, disappointed in my memory.

Bubblegum fluoride was and is the most unpleasant because it tastes enough like bubblegum to be really upsetting. Its like someone ate a pack of bubblegum and then threw up on my gums.

So now I think that taking a shower would be like someone eating a full roll of Hubba Bubba and then barfing on my body. 

I was hoping that writing about it would make me feel better, but it doesn't.

I smell so bad.